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A dog's pledge..........


I will not play tug-of war with Dad's underwear when he is on the toilet.
The garbage collector is NOT trying to steal our stuff.
I do not need to suddenly stand up straight when I'm lying under the coffee table.
I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
I will not eat the cat's food before or after they eat it.
I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of carpet in the house when I am about to throw-up.
I will not throw-up in the car.
I will scootch my bottom along the grass to rid myself of hangers-on.
I will not eat other animals poop.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs etc.
I will not roll my head in other animal's poop
I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
Kitty box crunchies are not my food.
I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
The diaper pail is not the cookie jar.
I will not eat disposable diapers, especially the dirty ones.
I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
I will not chew crayons or pens, especially red ones or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it is raining outside.
I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear if someone who is sitting on the toilet.
We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on T.V..
I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.
The sofa is NOT a face towel...NEITHER are Mom and Dad's laps.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I will not drool all over the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's drivers license and car registration.
....Kim



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